Chris Brown, you bad bad person.

Dear Chris,

You should enjoy your time in locked up. Did you happen to see your girlfriend's neck in that photo? Those were your hands choking her, so much in fact, she wasn't even conscious when she was rescued. There is only one word to describe what a total douchebag you are.

Prison Finger.

Enjoy it dude!

Sperm Crazies at MAC

As if we don't already hate Sperm Crazies we hear yesterday that her mother's home is in foreclosure. I can only imagine how many letters and nasty phone calls she had received from the bank while her stupid pregnant daughter was getting her nails filled and lips redone. Nevertheless, this poor lady is now losing the only thing she has. She has lost her retirement and now her home due to her crazy ass daughter's choice to go sperm crazie.

I gotta love TMZ. They will hound Sperm Crazies forever now. Yesterday's photos on TMZ show her at the Nordstrom counter buying LipGlass at the MAC counter. As they follow her to her car she goes on and on about her needing a new home. I hope to god she doesn't use my favorite colors of LipGlass or I am gonna have to boycott.

The state of California has the largest budget deficit in the country and Sperm Crazies expects you to pay for it! Now we know what she is buying.... what a pig.

Speaking of pigs- here is what's for dinner tonight. It is an oldie but goodie from Rachael Ray. Say what you want, the girl can deliver some good recipes.

BLTs with Avocado and Spicy Mayo
Prep Time: 30 min
Cook Time: 15 min
1 large garlic clove, crushed
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
2 teaspoons chili powder
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice, plus more for sprinkling
1/2 cup light mayonnaise
One 12-ounce package center-cut bacon
8 slices of hearty, white farmhouse bread
1 large or 2 small ripe Hass avocados
2 medium tomatoes, thinly sliced
8 lettuce leaves, torn into pieces
8 dill pickle spears
1. Chop the crushed garlic with the salt and press it with the side of the knife until mashed. Scrape the garlic into a small bowl and stir in the chili powder, 2 tablespoons of lime juice and the mayonnaise. 2. In a large skillet, cook the bacon in 2 batches until crisp. Pour off the fat between each batch. Drain the bacon on paper towels. 3. While the bacon cooks, toast the bread. Slice the avocado and sprinkle the slices with a few drops of the lime juice. 4. Spread 1 side of each piece of toast with the spicy mayo. Arrange the avocado slices on 4 of the toasts, pressing them firmly against the mayo. Arrange the bacon, tomatoes and lettuce on the avocado slices. Top the sandwiches with the remaining toast. Cut the sandwiches in half on the diagonal and serve with the dill pickle spears.


Enjoy!!

If it has carrots in it, it must be good for you!

Today's recipe is one of my favorites to bake. The ingredient list is long but worth it. You will notice that the icing makes a lot, but don't worry, you will soon find other uses. I use this icing recipe for most of my cookies. Just place what's left in a plastic container and store in the fridge. Or do what my husband does- buy a box of Vanilla Wafers and make your own cookies sandwiches. :)

Janeen's Carrot Cupcakes with
White Chocolate Cream Cheese Icing

Ingredients for the Frosting or Icing, whatever you may call it:

3 oz White Bakers Chocolate
1 (8oz) Package of Philadelphia Cream Cheese- room temp
3/4 cup unsalted butter- room temp
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
3/4 tsp orange extract, oil, or grated orange peel
6 cups of powdered sugar
3 TB of heavy whipping cream

Ingredients for Carrot Cake:
3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 2/3 cup of white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
3 cups shredded carrots
3/4 cup crushed canned pineapple- drained of excess liquid
2 1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
2 1/4 tsp good quality cinnamon
3/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease muffin tin or line with paper cups.
In a small saucepan, melt the white chocolate over low heat. Stir until smooth and allow to cool at room temp.
In a bowl beat together the cream cheese and butter until smooth. Mix in the white chocolate, 1 tsp of vanilla, and orange extract, oil, or zest. Gradually beat in the powdered sugar until fluffy. Slowly stream in the heavy cream to incorporate. Set aside.

Beat together eggs, white and brown sugars, oil, and vanilla.
Fold in shredded carrots and pineapple.
In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger.
Mix flour mixture into carrot mixture until evenly moist.
Fold in 1/2 cup nuts and transfer into cupcake tin.

Bake for 25 minutes. Completely cool on wire racks before icing. Ice cupcakes and use remaining nuts as a garnish on top. Makes 24 cupcakes.

Enjoy!

Sperm Crazies and A-Holes

Great title for my second post, but I had to run with it.

When I first heard about the mother who gave birth to 8 babies I thought "wow, she must have a huge home and a wonderful husband." It took about 12 hours of the media to soon discover she has none of those things. She is in fact a total nutcase.


So let me keep you updated here. The name "Sperm Crazies" was invented by me last week when my brother sent me a link to her "wonderful" story. I don't find it so wonderful. I quickly named her "Sperm Crazies." No one in their right mind wants 8 babies all at once. Most people can't even handle 8 puppies or kittens let alone 8 newborns.


I digress. So it turns out Sperm Crazies (I won't refer to her real name) already had 6 children, 3 of whom have serious disabilities. Ok, ok, you are thinking maybe she has a REALLY big heart and REALLY big bank account?


She failed me again. She has no JOB, no MONEY, no HOUSE (that tiny thing she is living in is actually owned by her parents who purchased it for her). But I can tell you what she DOES have.

A nose job.


A serious affection for lip injections.


A publicist.


Fake nails.


Now I must stop there. As a young lady I have on occasion purchased the "pink and white" set while at the nail salon and I quickly regret it. It costs about $40 for a full set of fakies, and the every 3 week up keep is well, a pain in the ass. It adds up fast.


It is it now that I must bring to your attention that Sperm Crazies is collecting WELFARE. When you have 6 children all under the age of 6, 3 of whom have disabilities and she finds TIME to get her nails done???



Aside from the Angelina Jolie comparisons- and God bless her. She can do whatever she wants as long as she can afford it. Sperm Crazies cannot. So who will pay for the 3 MILLION in hospital care that these 8 infants are getting? That's right people, you and me. I could go on and on but I will stop there. I have another A-Hole to talk about.


Mr. Alex Rodriguez has always been a douche in my mind. Now that he has "admitted" to using PED's (performance enhancing drugs) he can be classified as an A-HOLE Douche.


In the years of his massive contract with the Texas Ranger that totalled 256 million dollars he decided that being a rich baseball player wasn't enough. He needed to be a real douche. He took many forms of steroids (so much in fact he doesn't even KNOW what he took) from the years of 2001-2003 to show the world that he was worth that kind of money.

The hated Yankees salivated at him in pinstripes and ofcourse find every way to make it happen by trading for him in 2004. So now he is a stupid Yankee and the pressure is way beyond what he can control.


Have you heard him speak? I don't think he could pass 7th grade which only adds to the ridiculousness of his monster contract. So what happens next? The Yankees determined to have their Golden Douche break all the home run records of the past give him another monster contract for 350 million, was it? I don't know, I can't comprehend that amount of money.


Turns out when asked by CBS last year whether he had ever taken any PED'S he said "No, I never thought I needed to."


So those records he was intending on breaking? Those records the Yankees were counting on?


They won't mean much now. See cause its hard to award a player who cheats. Oh and lies. Oh and is really the dumbest player on the team.



When Joe Torre and Larry Bowa referred to him as "A-Fraud" they were right. But today in the New York Post they gave him a new name and I am going to stick with that one.




















I just had a revelation!!! Sperm Crazies needs a rich dude and A-Hole is just dumb enough to date an Angelina Jolie look alike!

To start off my blog series I decided to let you in on a little secret. If you love bananas you must try my world famous Banana Coffee Cake with Streusel Topping. I'm amazed that I am giving this one away. It has been requested hundreds of times from coworkers. The key to this recipe is high quality cinnamon which can be ordered on Penzey's or any gourmet store. Also, the cinnamon chips are wonderful on the top but I have also used Maple flavored as well.

Banana Coffee Cake with Streusel Topping
1 1/4 cups semisweet chocolate chips (about 8 ounces)
1 cup cinnamon chips
2/3 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 large egg
1 1/3 cups mashed very ripe bananas (about 3 large)
3 tablespoons buttermilk


Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter and flour 8x8x2-inch metal baking pan. Stir chocolate chips, brown sugar, walnuts, ground cinnamon and chips in small bowl until well blended; set streusel aside. Sift all purpose flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into medium bowl. Using electric mixer, beat sugar, room temperature butter, and egg in large bowl until fluffy. Beat in mashed bananas and buttermilk. Add dry ingredients and blend well.
Spread half of batter (about 2 cups) in prepared baking pan. Sprinkle with half of streusel. Repeat with remaining batter and streusel. Bake coffee cake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 45 minutes. Cool coffee cake in pan on rack.

Enjoy!!